Deny
by Purple Mongoose
Summary: Companion piece to 'Human.' Roger Smith reflects on his feelings for R. Dorothy Waynewright. [Complete]


Deny  
  
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Summary: Well, @*$%&^!! I missed Act 09! DANGIT!! Let's just hope Cartoon Network does sweet reruns...and, by jove, let's also hope there aren't any Roger/Angel implications. Gick. Anywho, here's a semi-sequel to "Human", written in Roger's POV. This is VERY short.  
  
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Emotions are tricky little buggers. God only knows I try to fight mine all the way, try to suppress them and force them back into a corner.   
  
If you love someone, you only get hurt.  
  
Mother and Father promised they'd be here forever. They promised, damnit! They _promised_!   
  
But they died, and I was alone with Norman. I joined the MP, hoping I'd find some solace. No such luck...Dan was a good friend, but not a brother.  
  
'And they say love is irresistible, and then you had to prove them right...'  
  
She's the loveliest thing in the world. She always walks around with that dour expression, like she can't find anything to smile about, but when I see her, it's like everything is...right.  
  
It isn't right with Angel. Nothing is. I can't talk to her, tell her what I feel about life, or banter lightly with about little trivial things such as whether or not to use the pickle fork for the salad, even if I don't have a bloody pickle fork. Lord, Dorothy's the only person who will actually argue about pickle forks with me.  
  
I'm afraid of her, I suppose.   
  
Afraid of my heart betraying me...  
  
'Damn you for making me want to love you, and hold you, and swear to always stay by you...'  
  
I'm completely comfortable with the concept of Instro having feelings. But with Dorothy...I see her, quiet, introspective, but so much more human than one would think.  
  
She plays that song every morning just to irritate me, I know it.   
  
'I'm so scared of loving you, can't you see that? I'm so scared you'll leave me and I'll be alone again...I don't care about being alone anymore. I care about you...'  
  
If I admit to myself that Dorothy has feelings, I'll lose any grip I have on this feeling of...no.  
  
No.  
  
She doesn't have emotions.  
  
She isn't human.  
  
Angel's human.  
  
'So why do I love you instead of her?'  
  
If I pretend that what she says doesn't affect me, if I tell myself every morning that I don't love her...  
  
I'll still love her.  
  
There. I said it.  
  
'I love you, damnit all, I love you!'  
  
Is there any reason to deny it?  
  
A melody, upbeat and noisy, explodes from the piano foyer.  
  
She's the reason I deny.  
  
...and she's the reason I love.  
  
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owari  
  
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AN: Umm...right. 0o;; Okay, this sucked.  
  
Holy mother of all mongooses! More reviews!  
  
Additional responses for "Human" reviews:  
  
The Romulus- I know! Isn't Angel such a hypocritical, slutty, lying, backstabbing, self-absorbed, possessive little twit? (By the way...is your name from the Romulans of Star Trek fame?)  
  
Just a Thought- I've been getting a lot of stuff telling me "Human" was deep. Maybe I should be a philosopher!...nah. I'd use things like, "Do as the mongoose, and bite snakes." (Translation: Do as morality, and destroy evil.")  
  
Mimi, Myself, & Iz- Oh, geez, I'm blushing...(no, really, I am!)  
  
Mr. Crash- Holy cow! Now I'm REALLY blushing! -*^.&*- And domo arigatou!  
  
Akira- I agree! I agree! What kind of a woman tears her clothes off in front of a man? I mean, I'm 13, maybe I'm old-fashioned, and I have morals, and, by jove, that's just gross! Thankfully, Roger was gentlemanly enough to ignore the blatant...well, you know. Perhaps it's because there's another woman he loves...? (*cough*Dorothy*cough*)  
  
Celeste1441- Domo arigatou! DOMO ARIGATOU!! Dang, I love you people! *avoids Ryan and the bowling ball™*  
  
Terra- I'm a-writin'! I love writing! I'm writing a novel, you know, with the classical 'gal and guy from different cultures' story...but with a twist. (Think Civil War, white gal, slave man, hinthint...)  
  
George- I'm 13!! I can't write lemons! I-I-I...I'd feel guilty! I'm not saying I COULDN'T write one, I'm just saying I WON'T. But arigatou for thinking I'd have the talent. :]  
  
Sakura3- Yup! And we keep getting more!  
  
Mars Zero aka Silver Flare- You're quite welcome! And thank-YOU for reviewing! That's so cool of you!!  
  
may- More you shall have!  
  
angel-hater - I've never knocked anybody's socks off! That is so WICKED! I hope this is a good enough sequel...  
  
[Responses for "Dance With Me By Moonlight" reviews will be posted with the sequel I'm planning, "Moon Maidens". And, yes, Celeste1441, I made the moon-maiden thing up. I just thought it would be poetic...I'm obsessed with moon poetry.]  
  
So, until next time, ja mata!  
  
Purple Mongoose/PallaPlease.  
  
[PS~ Pwease review!!] 


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